1. I am addicted to music of all kinds. I grew up in a musical household. My father and I would sing old Baptist hymns and Johnny Cash songs together. I remember being five years old and sitting on our porch swing with my dad and singing The Gambler by Kenny Rogers. When I was a wee one, there was a Junior Police talent show that my dad and the kids threw for charity. My mom made me a clover costume and my dad played his guitar and we sang a duet of I'm Looking Over A Four Leaf Clover. Music was always something that I loved, and I grew up singing, in school choir and chapel and at church. It's always made me happy.

2. I love to read. I used to get teased alot when I was younger because I always had my nose in a book. The first book that I ever read alone, when I was four, was The Penguin That Hated The Cold. I read that book to Mason every day. :)

3. I'm clingy, and sometimes I'm afraid of pushing people away because of it. My life is pretty lonely, to be honest. I work and I come home and take care of Mason. I don't go out much, and I don't get asked on dates, so my love life is pretty much non-existent. I spend alot of time with Amy and Jimmie, but they're gone until June. So, I cling to my few RL friends and my LJ friends, and I cherish the relationships that I have with them. But sometimes I think that I can be too clingy....I think that it's because I've been through alot of loss in my life, and I'm afraid of losing more people who matter to me. So, I end up being annoying when I don't really mean to be. It all boils down to my insecurities, I think. And we all know how insecure I am. But, I'm working on that part of my life. I really need to start seeing the good about myself, because there's alot of good.

4. Sometimes, I rarely think about my dad. And other days, I can hardly function because I miss him so much. Is that normal?

5. I have never been in a healthy relationship. I always tend to pick the men that are the worst for me. It's become a really bad pattern. They always seem so great in the beginning, then they end up being cheating, abusive sociopaths. Why does this always happen?

Why is it that we know that the Cinderella story is a myth, yet we always seem to keep searching for it? We look for that Prince Charming to give us the big house with the white picket fence, the dog the cat, the 2.5 kids.....yet we know that it's just unrealistic.

Of course, this comes from the person who believes that every relationship has a 99% chance of ending, so I go into it really having no expectations. I might love someone, but I'm not planning a future or a wedding or a family. I guess I just don't see the point.


Maybe I'm just too much of a pessimist.