Why is it that we know that the Cinderella story is a myth, yet we always seem to keep searching for it? We look for that Prince Charming to give us the big house with the white picket fence, the dog the cat, the 2.5 kids.....yet we know that it's just unrealistic.

Of course, this comes from the person who believes that every relationship has a 99% chance of ending, so I go into it really having no expectations. I might love someone, but I'm not planning a future or a wedding or a family. I guess I just don't see the point.


Maybe I'm just too much of a pessimist.

I'm having one of those days where I feel like crying and I'm really not sure why. Maybe it's the financial stress, maybe it's the loneliness, or maybe it a little bit of both. I just feel like I can't seem to find any sort of happiness in my life (besides Mason, of course). I feel like I work and I work and I strive to be better and to make a good life for me and my son, and I keep getting held back. It's like I keep hitting roadblocks at every turn.

And, of course, this self-esteem issue is starting to cause me problems. I know that I've put on alot of weight...the last I weighed myself, last week, I was 181 pounds. I've NEVER weighed this much. I have the worst self-image, but my problem is that I eat when I'm depressed and I'm ALWAYS depressed these days.

I want to fix it. I've tried medications, and all that they do is make me feel like a zombie. And therapy helps, but only temporarily. I just want to feel better about myself and about my life. I know that I'm a great person and I know that I have alot going for me....so why can't I just be happy?

Amy met some guy at Kappy's tonight, and they were talking about her trip that she's taking to Michigan with Sam and Jimmie. When she told him that she was going to Michigan, he said, "Why would you want to go to Michigan? That's like saying you want to go to Detroit!"


Um....WHAT?

What's your favorite meal?

(Feel free to share the recipe if you have it...I'm always looking for new cooking ideas!)


My favorite thing to cook is red beans and rice with tons of andouille sausage. I make them from scratch and usually cook then for about 2 1/2 hours, adding lots of diced onions, celery, and red peppers. I use a ton of Tony Chachere's seasoning, which is the best thing ever created.

I usually serve it with buttery cornbread, and sometimes I'll make some green beans cooked in the diced veggie blend with bacon, just because they are delicious and go with just about anything.


And I wonder why I'm fat. :)

In the past year, I've realized that I have a type.


And that type is asshole.

My mom picked up a pack of Pull-Ups and a pack of Cars underroos for Mason at Wal-Mart on Monday so I can start working on the whole potty training thing. I'll admit, I've been really lazy about it this week, but today, I had to go pee, so I asked Mason if he wanted to go to the potty. he said "YEAH!" and ran into the bathroom. I helped him pull his Pull-Up down and he sat down, and I showed him how to tilt his naughy bits down toward the toilet. Then, as I was using the bathroom, Mason peed for the first time in his potty, although he didn't keep holding his boy bits down, so 90% of the pee was on him and the floor, but it's the effort that counts, right?

Anyways, I gave him tons of praise and some Skittles as a reward, then I put him in a pair of his "big boy undies" because he loves them. Then he climbed onto the love seat to read a book.

Less than a minute later, I hear "EWWWWWW!" I turn around, and I see that Mason had peed all over my loveseat.

o_0

Today has been so craptastic.....let me tell you allll about it.

So, last night, while I was at work, it started storming....high speed winds, hail, the whole nine. Well, it stormed a bit throughout the night, but seemed to slack off a little. This morning, I wake up around 8:30am to feel my trailer moving due to the wing gusts...I was all "WTF?!". It stormed and it stormed, and around 9, my power shut off. It blinked for a while, off and on, then eventually turned off completely around 9:30.

At 6:30pm, the power FINALLY gets turned back on. Apparently, a pine tree had fallen on one of the power lines in the neighborhood during the storm, thus fucking up everyone's electricity (this happened all over the St. Tammany Parish, from what I gathered from news stuff that I just read)

Around 8:30 or so, the power went off AGAIN. Well, half the power....it was weird...my bedroom/bathroom was completely lit, but the rest of the house was dark. The lightbulbs were ON, because I could see them slightly lit, but not enough power was getting to them to actually light anything. Plus, my water runs from a well, which is run by electricity, so I had no running water AGAIN (a full day with no hot shower and without being able to do laundry or wash dishes makes Jenn a sad girl). Turns out, the transformer right by my house was extremely old and couldn't handle all of the usage anymore. So, they just came out a little while ago and changed it. Now it's five minutes to 1am, and I FINALLY have power again.

Thank the baby Jesus. I missed the air conditioning. This reminded me of the two weeks my fat, pregnant ass lived in the apartment with no air conditioning for two weeks after Katrina. Worst two weeks EVER.

What's a little random fact about you that I don't already know about you?





Me? Well, I like the crusts on bread the best. In fact, I try to get a little piece of crust in each bite of my sandwich. And the ends of the bread loaf...OMGWTFBBQYUMMYNESS!!!


Okay, I'm done. :)

I've decided to start making music posts once a week, where I post some of my favorite songs, for your downloading and listening pleasure, because I love you and stuff.

This weeks uploads:

Adele - Chasing Pavements
I actually just discovered this song tonight, while riding home from work with my friend Jimmie, and was absolutely blown away. I love love LOVE it. I think you will too.

Ladytron - Black Cat
This is the first track leaked from Ladytron's soon-to-be-released new album, Velocifero, which I am extremely excited about. Hopefully, I'll make it to the show at the House Of Blues next month, but I am beginning to doubt it....I'm so poor. *sniff*

Madonna - Incredible
This is one of the songs off of Madonna's latest album, Hard Candy, and it's probably my favorite, although it's been hard for me to choose because I like every song so much. In fact, I'll probably end up uploading most of her album over the next few weeks. :)

Justice - B.E.A.T. (from the D.A.N.C.E. EP)
I have heard so many different versions of this song, yet I love them all and never get tired of any of them. This is my most recent favorite. It's one of those songs that you can't help but dance to.

N.E.R.D. - Everyone Nose
N.E.R.D. never disappoints me.

Lindsay Lohan - Bossy
I really, really, REALLY want to hate this song. But I can't. Go ahead. Mock me.

I love this song. I can't help it. Everytime I turn it on, I can't help but dance around like a spaz. :)


It amuses me that Lindsay Lohan makes a cameo in a music video based on cocaine use. Lulz.

So, I decided to listen to my old mix CD of DMX songs and came across one of his older songs that I had forgotten about with these lyrics:

"I got blood on my hands, I got no remorse. I got blood on my dick cause I fucked a corpse."


o_0

WHAT

I really love not being allowed to have my own opinions...


Seriously....sometimes pro-choice people make my head hurt. I try to express my opinion in the most adult, polite way possible and I get jumped all over.

I don't know why I bother with booju_newju

My BFF Amy has finally decided to join the world of LJ, so add her and say hello!

miss_kitty_585

You just came home from doing a bid, tell me what you gonna do?

ACT A FOOL.

Somebody broke in and cleaned out your crib, boy what you gonna do?

ACT A FOOL.

Just bought a new pair and they scuffed your shoes, tell me what you gonna do?

ACT A FOOL.

Now them cops tryin' to throw you in them county blues, boy what you gonna do?

ACT A FOOL.




That is all.

What is the one TV show that you never, EVER miss?

It's just a fact....

Oh, Rich Cronin......you are somethin' else.

I have my Yahoo, AIM, and MSN turned on, so IM me and keep me entertained while me and Amy watch SVU all night! Do it! Do it NOW!

AIM: TheJenn021282
Yahoo: missjenn021282
MSN: TheJenn021282@hotmail.com


( I know...I'm unoriginal, but I'm too lazy to create new screen names)

Sometimes, I feel so lonely that I can hardly stand it.

And, sometimes I just wish that someone was interested in me romantically (someone who's not crazy). It's not that I need a man to make me happy, because I don't. But, I've been alone for so long, minus the occasional fling-gone-wrong. Five years of being single (and I'm not counting D.W., because we were together for a WEEK before I found out about Jessica, and he didn't even live here).

I think it's even tougher being a mom and raising a kid when you have noone to share it with.

I Just want someone to really, truly care about me enough to want to be with me. I want to find love like so many of the people in my life have.



Sorry for the emo rant. Being alone is just starting to get to me, I guess.